


Get Off Your High Horse

by Nienna_Perks



Series: Horsing Around [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Humor, Awkward Sexual Situations, Brotherhood, Brotherly Angst, Brotherly Bonding, Embarrassment, Exploring Midgardian Entertainment, Funny, Invasion of Privacy, Loki Angst, Masturbation, Poor Loki, Post-Avengers (2012), Sibling Bonding, Sibling Rivalry, Situational Humiliation, Teasing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-23
Updated: 2014-09-23
Packaged: 2018-02-18 13:49:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,545
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2350637
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nienna_Perks/pseuds/Nienna_Perks
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Background: Post-Avengers. Loki is under house arrest on Asgard, but has also been given the chance to atone. Odin believes that if Loki studies Midgard enough, he will see the beauty and ingenuity there which is worthy of Asgard's protection.</p><p>Loki has been stripped of most of his powers, but not enough to create wards which would prevent his family members from entering his chambers when they pleased.</p><p>Enter Thor who finds himself in a very embarrassing situation, but it's so much worse for Loki...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Get Off Your High Horse

**Author's Note:**

> There is a theme here which I am sure you will pick up on after reading this story. It often comes up as a running joke when I chat with my fellow fangirls. After one hilarious conversation, this little scene popped into my head and I had to write it down - forgive me!!

 

Thor had been training all day and was heading towards Loki's bedchambers. He wanted to escort him to dinner, hoping he'd get the chance to explain how he had bested the finest Einherjar in various forms of combat. As he drew near to Loki's quarters, he heard strange noises...

 

"Was that a horse?", Thor muttered to himself in confusion.

 

With his arm extending towards the handle, he was sure he could hear Loki grunting in exertion.

 

"He must be up to his tricks again, but this time he has a poor beast as his victim!"

 

Thor was readying himself to lecture Loki once again but as he opened the door, he could do nothing but bite his tongue in shock.

 

"THOR?!!!! You--what--?!," Loki spluttered.

 

Loki was sitting on his couch with his legs spread wide. From this angle, Thor could not see below his shoulders, but he knew well what he had interrupted. Regardless of the protection the couch offered, Loki dragged a fur throw over himself and stood up. His once astounded features twisting into pure fury.

 

"YOU, YOU CARELESS OAF! DON'T YOU KNOW HOW TO ANNOUNCE YOUR PRESENCE BEFORE ENTERING WITHOUT PERMISSION?!!!"

 

"Erm, I--I'm sorry brother, forgive m--"

 

It was in that moment that Thor noticed that there was no horse in the room, thankfully, but he couldn't help but wonder where the noises had come from.

 

"Brother, forgive me, but I overheard a horse neighing and was sure you were up to your magic tricks again. I thought to berate you for your cruel treatment of such a cherished beast of the realm. But I see now that I was mistaken."

 

Hoping Thor was distracted enough by his own thoughts, Loki turned away and gathered his trousers about his waist, shuffling slightly to the left. Thor looked on, unnerved by the whole situation. He thought it very odd that Loki was not defending himself or screaming at Thor that his abilities are more than mere tricks.

 

Loki dropped the throw back on the couch once he'd fixed his trousers. His arousal having disappeared as quick as Thor could call upon the lightning. He had never felt so embarrassed, this was possibly worse than when he'd had his testicles tied to a goat to make Skaði laugh! Loki only hoped that Thor would leave as soon as possible and think nothing more of this than simply slaking his lust before dinner. If only he could just block Thor's view of...

 

"Loki? What are you hiding from me? What is that box? Yet more of your tricks?!"

 

"Damn.." Loki muttered under his breath. Now being the worst time for that damn dolt to develop keen observation skills, he muses. "It is nothing, just one of my tricks, as you say.."

 

"But, I have seen one before! Well, several in fact." Thor pauses as he recalls just where he'd seen such an appliance. "Brother Tony's tower is full of these...boxes. Loki, have you acquired this box from Midgard?! I thought you said they were beneath you? Why would you seek out such an article? For what purpose do you have this?! Tell me now, Loki or I'll--"

 

"Or you'll what, Thor?! Go running to Odin with tales of how I've been bewitching precious Midgardian technology in hopes to overthrow that little ball of mud?! I was merely curious! It was a mistake that I shall not be making again. This 'technology' is simplistic and has no real purpose. Forget this, Odin awaits and we mustn't keep him waiting now.."

 

With that, Loki made to pass Thor and head for dinner. But Thor was having none of it and advanced upon said box of mysteries. He vaguely remembered moving pictures, flickering in the background as he watched the Man of Iron trade barbs with the other Avengers. Usually the bird-man would isolate himself from the jesting, preferring to spend his time monitoring these boxes, usually as a security measure of some sort.

 

Another memory flared up in his mind, one of Jane's young friend Darcy having a similar box which would keep her from performing her duties often, much to Jane's annoyance. He smiles faintly at the memory of Jane... Thor then reached out as he'd seen Darcy do many times during his initial short stay on Midgard. He slid a finger along the top edge until he reached a protrusion which he applied pressure to, much like one would a maiden at a brothel, he mused.

 

Loki stood as if frozen in the doorway, eyes wide with horror as Thor reached out, just a moment away from uncovering his dark secret. He had reached halfway down the corridor before his embarrassment had abated, just enough for him to notice the lack of his brother's heavy footfall trailing after him. Now he wished he had carried on and reached the refuge of his so-called parents' presence so Thor could no longer speak of his mortification.

 

A blinding light flashed from the box which lit up the dim chamber. For a second Thor thought the enchanted box had caused him to unintentionally harness the lightning. His eyes soon adjusted and he was surprised at what he saw. That was until he remembered Loki's state of undress when he had entered the room.

 

"THIS?!" Thor bellowed as he fitted all the pieces of the puzzle together.

 

He turned to face Loki who had now collapsed in sheer humiliation, a heap on the floor with his head buried in his hands. His nails were digging into his scalp as he wished he had the power to turn back time or erase Thor's memories... or even to have had the ability to lock his own family members out of his chambers so this never would have occurred. Curse Odin for never having faith in him and curse Thor for never respecting his preferred solitude.

 

Thor just stood there, wordlessly mouthing, unsure of how to proceed. It was well rumoured that Loki had unusual tastes, Fandral and Volstagg regularly jested about Loki's preferences. It seemed strange that Loki was rarely seen attending the brothels like most men and had not yet courted a single maiden. They often joked that the dark Prince's scheming was the result of not working out his frustrations in a more physical manner.

 

But this?! He wasn't even sure he'd understood the situation correctly, but the way in which Loki had lost all will to defend himself only made to further cement his suspicions. He turned back to the images before him and it slowly became clear.

 

Loki felt the moment that the Thunder God's intense gaze had left his crumpled form and hazarded a peak at what had now caught his attention. He let out a long exasperated and let his hands drop into his lap. With his hair falling limply around his face, his own eyes fell on the back of the couch. He narrowed them as if he could burn a hole through it and then too, the offending Midgardian device.

 

He too had noticed the humans' love for entertainment whilst attempting to rule Midgard. As the scientist Erik worked away, he studied the culture of his soon-to-be slaves. He was impressed by their technology, having seen how they sought to harness the power of the Tesseract. But it was also their means of entertainment that he was drawn to.

 

He sighed again, silently chiding himself. "I just had to let my curiosity get the better of me. Don't the Midgardians have a saying about a feline that met its downfall from exercising curiosity? How ironic that I am now the feline and the object of my curiosity was borne of Midgard."

 

Loki knew better than to rely on Thor to put this charade to an end, so he mustered what little dignity he had left and stood slowly. He clenched and unclenched his fists and jaw, willing himself to stay standing and hoping his so-called Silvertongue could placate Thor in his currently confused and horrified state.

 

"Well I doubt you could think any less of me now, "brother". Yes, I acquired this 'television' from Midgard. I made a request of mother, admitting I was impressed by some of their technology. She made a bargain with Odin that I not be allowed any technology which could cause harm. That is why I focused my attentions on entertainment. It is quite something.

 

"Instead of putting on performances and telling tales over dinner, performances are recorded and shown on televisions for humans to enjoy at their leisure. I thought to reproduce and better this technology to be used as a means of entertainment here on Asgard. Just think what we could do with it. You could have your battles recorded and then shown over and over again for all to see."

 

"Cease your prattling, Loki. I know you well enough now to see that you are only trying to bolster my ego in order to distract me from all... this."

 

He then turned back to look Loki in the eye. Loki held his balled fists at his side but refused to drop his gaze. He would not show how ashamed he was, even if he did truly feel it.

 

"By all means Thor, enlighten me. What is all... 'this'?" Loki asked with a wry grin.

 

As embarrassing as this had been for Loki, he still found joy in watching his brother squirm. Old habits died very hard, if at all, in Asgard.

 

"You--that---". Thor cleared his throat, refusing to let Loki see him so shaken by the situation.

 

"You were using this Midgardian 'technology' in order to satisfy your desires. Why must you always resort to these extreme measures?! Why not attend the brothels with the Warriors? Why must you hide yourself away and seek your pleasure in the most bizarre manner?!"

 

"Bizarre?! It is no more bizarre than the nobles or Einherjar attending the brothels of other realms. Just because they do not suit your own 'tastes', you should not judge others for being different. But then again, that always was the way of an Asgardian. All others are below those of the Golden Realm."

 

"Who are you to talk of not passing judgement? Was it not you who deemed Midgardians below your own feet?"

 

"NO! It was not! My mind was poisoned against them, as you well know. Though you have always thought me to have an ill mind and always assumed the worst. If anything, my time on Midgard opened my eyes.

 

"We are so sheltered here, living in the eternal light. But Midgard is of both light and shadow. You think my tastes bizarre? The humans are so much more depraved than any other race of the Nine Realms. If my imprisonment is ever ended, I would like to visit again and see just how dark the shadows lie over that little ball of mud."

 

Thor did not know how to respond. He first thought to defend Midgard and tell Loki he was wrong. But then he remembered many startling and colourful comments made by Darcy. Such things he'd been shocked to hear from a maiden. Lady Sif may be more like a man in terms of her skills as a warrior, but Darcy's mouth was as vulgar as Fandral's, if not worse.

 

"Oh yes, you know I speak the truth, as much as it burns me to admit it. Now, if you have finally finished coming to terms with how the Nine Realms really work, we have dinner waiting. We're already late and I'd hate for Frigga to have to send a guard to check that we haven't killed one another."

 

"Aye, I guess you're right." Thor conceded. "We mustn't keep mother waiting. Again, I am truly sorry for.. interrupting you." The tense atmosphere dissipated as Thor lowered his head, looking very much like a chastised child. He then looked up again at Loki, this time with a grin of his own.

 

"I guess I learned my lesson the hard way, which is not surprising considering how I got to where I am now."

 

Loki couldn't help but chuckle at that statement. It seemed Thor was a pretty poor student, having had to be banished just to learn a little humility.

 

"Well, if I can count on you never barging into my quarters ever again, then I guess this whole debacle hasn't been for nothing."

 

With that token of goodwill and the awkwardness brushed aside, Thor stepped forward smiling and patted Loki once on the shoulder a little too hard, as usual. They both made to leave the room, until Thor seemed to have remembered something. He walked back up to the television and for a second time, gave that little button a press.

 

Loki's smile slipped a little, having momentarily been reminded of the horrifying incident that had occurred so recently. But the smile slipped back on easily once Thor was back at his side, smiling at him like nothing had happened.

 

As they walked down the corridor towards the dining hall, Thor couldn't help but let his own curiosity get the better of him. He thought back to what had been flickering on the 'television' whilst he and Loki argued and couldn't seem to figure out what it was exactly that had got Loki into such a state. He stopped Loki mid-stride by grasping his arm lightly and turning him towards him.

 

Loki could see Thor wasn't quite over the incident as he hoped and could feel his nerves fraying as Thor shuffled from one foot to the other, trying to formulate his words. But he knew this oaf well and therefore knew what was plaguing his mind.

 

"For Odin's sake! We've most likely missed the first two courses already! And if you don't mind, I was well on my way to working up an appetite earlier. Just spit it out already!"

 

"Well... I am aware of what the television can be used for. In terms of... gratification. I remember Darcy was fond of a certain magician of sorts called "Magic Mike". Though I knew not how his tricks specifically satisfied the women of Midgard. However, I am sure that what you were viewing was not of that ilk. So, I guess... I guess that I was just curious about what exactly it was that you were watching. If you don't mind me asking, that is..."

 

Loki rolled his eyes as Thor spluttered out his request like the fool he was and continued walking as Thor hurried to keep up.

 

"Oh it was nothing of the depraved sort, as you well know. You are welcome to watch it with me, you may enjoy it." Thor fell out of step with Loki and grimaced at the thought of watching a film with his brother which had aroused him so.

 

"Oh don't give me that look! I promise to "behave" if you are to watch it with me. It was a film, a lengthy tale about a boy and his steed heading off to fight in a great Midgardian war. I merely got distracted by the magnificent steed... and his rider. A fine gentleman with a familiar look about him. I believe he was called...Captain Nicholls..."

**Author's Note:**

> Well this is the first fic I've ever written so please do forgive me. I've had ideas for smuttier ones jotted down for months, but this one had to be written as soon as I imagined it.
> 
> All I can hope for is that I elicited a few giggles whilst you were reading this.
> 
> Have you guessed the theme yet? :P


End file.
